Balancing my portfolio
The gist of Chapter 5 is that we all have a "portfolio" of relationships, which include our spouse, children, parents, siblings, and friends. And we need to develop strategies to keep these relationships strong and healthy. It also says that when we review our portfolio, we may notice certain relationships that are missing, or have been allowed to become distant, and we need to develop strategies for cultivating those relationships.
In my case, spouse and children are missing. I guess I was kind of put off by the concept that I need to "develop a strategy" to find a spouse. Although I'm quite capable of coming up with ways to meet people and find dates, I'm really quite weary of "trying this person out" and "trying that person out". It tends to lead to a lot of disappointment and frustration when things don't work out. I'd rather subscribe to another philosophy that says, "Wait on God"... "Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart...Trust in God to provide". I've been wanting to put this whole "finding a husband thing" in God's hands, figuring that when I'm ready and the man He has for me is ready, He'll bring us together. But the chapter seems to indicate that unless I do something, things won't change for me.
I shared this in small group, and was told that it's okay to wait on God as long as I'm not being too passive about it. I've got to make sure to be obedient to what God tells me to do, because I'll never know where I might meet that right person. Another person shared that it might be helpful if I start praying for my future husband, that is, not praying to meet them, but praying for them as if they were already in my life.
It occurred to me at that moment that I really have not been consistent about praying for a husband. Too much of my mental energy is spent reliving hurts of the past or feeling discouraged and negative, thinking I'll never find anyone. And this is probably what is holding me back. Someone else shared with me the verse...
Matthew Ch 7:7-11
"Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you.
For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened. "Or what man is there among you whom, if his son ask for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he ask for a fish, will give him a serpent? If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children, how much more shall your Father who is in Heaven give good things to them that ask Him?"
It's a good thing to want a husband, and I shouldn't doubt that if I ask for it, I will receive it. Because God is good, and He gives good gifts to His children. I also know somewhere in the bible it says that Jesus said, "You do not have because you do not ask", if someone reading this knows which verse this is, please leave a comment.
Anyway, I guess my stepping stones to finding a spouse are:
In my case, spouse and children are missing. I guess I was kind of put off by the concept that I need to "develop a strategy" to find a spouse. Although I'm quite capable of coming up with ways to meet people and find dates, I'm really quite weary of "trying this person out" and "trying that person out". It tends to lead to a lot of disappointment and frustration when things don't work out. I'd rather subscribe to another philosophy that says, "Wait on God"... "Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart...Trust in God to provide". I've been wanting to put this whole "finding a husband thing" in God's hands, figuring that when I'm ready and the man He has for me is ready, He'll bring us together. But the chapter seems to indicate that unless I do something, things won't change for me.
I shared this in small group, and was told that it's okay to wait on God as long as I'm not being too passive about it. I've got to make sure to be obedient to what God tells me to do, because I'll never know where I might meet that right person. Another person shared that it might be helpful if I start praying for my future husband, that is, not praying to meet them, but praying for them as if they were already in my life.
It occurred to me at that moment that I really have not been consistent about praying for a husband. Too much of my mental energy is spent reliving hurts of the past or feeling discouraged and negative, thinking I'll never find anyone. And this is probably what is holding me back. Someone else shared with me the verse...
Matthew Ch 7:7-11
"Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you.
For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened. "Or what man is there among you whom, if his son ask for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he ask for a fish, will give him a serpent? If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children, how much more shall your Father who is in Heaven give good things to them that ask Him?"
It's a good thing to want a husband, and I shouldn't doubt that if I ask for it, I will receive it. Because God is good, and He gives good gifts to His children. I also know somewhere in the bible it says that Jesus said, "You do not have because you do not ask", if someone reading this knows which verse this is, please leave a comment.
Anyway, I guess my stepping stones to finding a spouse are:
- Stop waisting time dwelling on negative thoughts and past hurts
- Be clear about the non-negotiables that I need in a husband
- Believe someone like that is out there for me
- Pray daily about finding him and pray for God to bless him
- Respond to God's leading as I make myself available, approachable, and as I notice others
posted by clayandwater at
3:15 PM
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